I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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