It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
