Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
cat food counts as protein by the way
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
