Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
