I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
