But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
