Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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