Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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