I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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