he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
