its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
