too bad you live with your parents still
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
