ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
