Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
