Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
