oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
