it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
