Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
how does that bad decision feel?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
