this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
