There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
