you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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