Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
