Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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