im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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