I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
