K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
