I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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