): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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