Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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