how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
