I bet he comes in French.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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