i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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