escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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