She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
