he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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