meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
zippers are such a cool invention
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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