we have officially lost it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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