we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
