I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
