I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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