Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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