Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
