btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
