I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
