Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How does one acquire holy water?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
