If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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