Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
