Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
