She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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