do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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