Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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